Sometimes it just works out perfectly.

I was sitting on the couch flipping back and forth between The Biggest Loser and The X Factor (wow, by the way!) and I was thinking through the dinner I had just made. Something just wasn't quite right with it. I tried a new recipe - Roasted Acorn Squash stuffed with Quinoa Mushroom Pilaf. Sounds good, doesn't it? And it was good. But... something was missing and it tasted a bit flat. It has promise, it simply needs some more help. Really what I was thinking about while I was sitting on the couch was "were the leftovers really worth heating up and eating?" I just wasn't feeling it. What I really wanted was something crunchy and, dare I say? sweet. (I blame this on my friend Carol, by the way. We had just recently had a long conversation about how I don't like sweet things. I always pass up dessert in favour of more dinner. Sweet just isn't my thing. I think talking about sweet stuff for so long triggered something inside.) Anyways, I walked around the kitchen praying there was something hidden in a cupboard that I had forgotten about, even though I really knew there wasn't going to be anything there. I had done a bunch of Christmas cookie baking and it was all sitting on the table on the cooling racks, but none of it was vegan and not even close to healthy.

Come on!! There HAS to be something in this house that will fit the bill!

I remembered that earlier in the day I was thinking of making some homemade granola to have on hand for a snack, so I pulled out a couple of my favourite vegan cookbooks and started looking for the perfect granola recipe. After some comparing, I found the one I wanted in Alicia Silverstone's book, "The Kind Diet". I started pulling out ingredients and putting them on the table. And then... I have no oats. How is that even possible?? I always have a spare bag of oats in the pantry. Ugh. Back to the drawing board.

I'm starting to think I will give up on the sweet part and just go for crunchy. When I was making dinner I toasted up some raw pumpkin seeds and once they started popping, they smelled soooooooo goood! Out came the pumpkin seeds. Wait. There are some raw sunflower seeds in the cupboard too. Ooooooo, and some raw almonds. And peanuts. I'm feeling a toasty, crunchy trail mix coming on. I pulled out the frying pan, gave it a VERY light spray of Safflower oil and dumped the seeds and nuts in. There is nothing like the smell of toasting nuts... ahhhhh.

When they were all toasty and popping, I took them off and dumped them in a bowl. And then it hit. The brilliant, light bulb moment that was about to change the course of trail mix snacking. (You may think I've gone a bit crazy here, or that I'm exaggerating the excitement. You just wait.) As I was putting the nuts and seeds back in the cupboard, I pulled out the jar of vegan, dark chocolate chips. I had always intended to add some at the end, but when the mix was COOL. So what did I do?? I added the chocolate while the mix was still warm. Yes I did.

Not very much chocolate at all, but it transformed my little trail mix. Why? Because it melted and coated all those warm, crunchy nuts and seeds.

I don't blame you if you think this is the end of my trail mix story and you can stop reading, but hang with me, it gets better.

I took my bowl of warm, crunchy, chocolately goodness and I spread it out on some parchment paper on a cookie sheet. And then I put some rock salt on it, put it in the fridge and walked away. An hour later, I came back and prayed it was going to be as good as I was dreaming it to be. Let me just say, it did NOT disappoint. UNBELIEVABLE.

The real brilliance of it all is that because I have been baking through the evening, the smells have lulled the boys in to complacency and they didn't even stick their heads out of their rooms! Perfect.

My new concoction is safely stored in a glass jar and well hidden from the children. And I have found my new motivation for putting my runners back on.

Stop talking.

Did you ever notice that people get in the way of you being a loving, compassionate, caring, forgiving, gracious kind of person? You can have all the great intentions in the world, but then people come along and mess it all up. Let me tell you, if I didn't have to deal with actual people I would be awesome! It is so easy to think about doing the right thing and practice doing the right thing and even talk about doing the right thing. Try doing the right thing - sometimes seems impossible. People talk back and interrupt you and cry and yell and go silent and walk away and then what do you do with your good intentions? Mine tend to go out the window at that point and I get frustrated, mad, impatient and often say things I later regret. We are often very focussed on being right and being heard, rather than being focussed on listening and understanding. As a society I think we have conflict resolution all backwards. If we all stopped trying to be heard and understood and started listening and understanding, we might just get somewhere.

Thank you for that pep talk, Diane. You're welcome, Diane.

Yes, sometimes I need to talk to myself out loud.

It's like we never left.

Hard to believe that after a countdown of 100+ days and a 5 week vacation that we have now been home for a week and it's like we never left. It is no surprise that our trip was full of stress and challenges, but there are also some happy memories that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives. Why is it though, that it is so much easier to hang on to the bad memories? I have been asked countless times how our trip was and it's been hard for me to come up with an answer that I am happy with. So after trying to describe it to friends this past week, the best answer we came up with is that the trip was "life as usual for the Pearsons".

This past week has been filled up with trying to get the boys back in their normal lives and I've been trying to continue on in my pursuit of minimalizing our home. Our whole "American" experience really cemented in me the desire to get rid of all the unnecessaries in our lives. I want to live in a home environment that we can enjoy and appreciate to the fullest. The distractions and stress that clutter brings just isn't worth it. This was the first trip that I have EVER been on in my life that did not involve any shopping (I realize that a few of you are cringing at the moment...) and it was hard at times. When we were walking through Downtown Disney there were so many moments that I wanted to buy something, but I kept coming back to the thought "what was I actually spending my money on?". I had just spent weeks selling, sorting and donating boxes and boxes of stuff from my house. Did I really want to buy something else to fill up the space? And did I really want to part with my money for another "thing"? And everytime, the answer was "no". The boys did spend their own money and they bought a few things that they wanted/liked, but we left home with carry-on luggage only and we returned with even less. It was so refreshing to come home and not have a few days worth of unpacking and putting away to do. At the end of the day, I liked it. It shocked me though to think about how pulled I was to spend money on "stuff". The emotions that surrounded shopping, money, and wanting things were strong and powerful. I made a conscious decision in the summer to not spend any money impulsively this year. If I wanted or needed something I had to be able to walk away and wait a week or so before a purchase and that is hard. But it is proving to be a worthwhile ambition for me.

This week is full of Dr's, dentists, teachers, etc and hopefully a return to normal life. I am also going through the Christmas stuff and determining what we are going to use and keep this year. With my mom gone, this is the first year that we have to break the patterns of all the Christmases of the past. This is the first year I have to establish traditions for my own family. This is the year that we get to have change. We will keep the best of past traditions and we will add some new ones to the Pearson's list. One thing is for certain, the Pearson's are ready to wrap up this year and continue to move forward into the next one. No regrets.

I didn't see that one coming.

Today I spent the day with Brendan. We rode Disney's Transportation system and went to a couple of resorts, and then hit up Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios. We were together, alone, for about 7 hours. Did I ever learn a lot! The kid talked non-stop the whole time and I don't think I even really got out more than a sentence at a time.

While we were waiting for a bus at the Caribbean Resort I learned that his dislocated toe has a bump on it now, but doesn't really hurt anymore.

While we were in line for Expedition Everest I learned that he really likes doing things without Dylan and that he really wants to go away, just the two of us.

While we were on Expedition Everest I learned that he likes that I go on roller-coasters with him.

While we were watching The Festival of the Lion King I learned that he knows all the words to all the Lion King songs and it doesn't bother him to sing them out loud.

While we were waiting for The Tower of Terror I learned that he thought I had bad B-O and I shouldn't raise my arms up.

While we were dropping down an elevator shaft on The Tower of Terror I learned that it wasn't me with the B-O after all (phew!).

While we were waiting for a bus to take us to Downtown Disney I learned that he loves playing music, but isn't really sure he wants that to be his career.

While we were riding a Disney bus to somewhere I learned that for the last few months he's been researching joining the Canadian Armed Forces to be a Dr.

While we were walking through Downtown Disney I was reminded how smart he is.

While we were driving home in the car I learned that he is serious about the Armed Forces.

WHAT?!

From the ages of 4 to 13 Brendan wanted to be a trauma Dr. He wanted the excitement of an emergency room - the guts and the glory. Once he turned 13, he discovered he had a great talent for music and he has been affirmed of that talent over and over. And he got swept up in to the excitement of being a musician. His reasons and rationale for NOT pursuing music as a career are quite well thought out and I really can't argue with them. The same goes for his reasons for wanting to join the Armed Forces and becoming a Dr. He wants to meet with a recruitment officer to ask questions about it all and he already has the questions thought out.

What happened to my baby? The kid who day dreamed his way through elementary school and charmed his way through everything else? I can't believe he is talking about his future so seriously and making plans to accomplish things he wants to do. He so desperately wants adventure and excitement. He wants to see the world and be a hero and have a walk on the wild side.

You know what? He has become everything I always wanted him to be.

Almost back to real life.

In less than a week we will be home! It's hard to believe we have been gone for a month already. A byproduct of being away for so long is a better appreciation of home. There are so many things we take for granted that I have never thought about before. The biggest one for me at the moment is the ability I have at home to buy good quality, fresh food at a reasonable price.

You know how we see on tv all the time about poor, obese Americans talking about how it's impossible to buy fresh fruit and vegetables and feed their families healthy food? And how the reason they are overweight is because it is so much cheaper to buy the junk food, packaged food and fast food instead of healthy, fresh food? IT IS TRUE!!!

Since we have been in Florida I have shopped at Publix, WalMart and Target superstores and a couple of smaller, local grocery stores. No matter how much I plan a grocery trip, it is impossible to do a week's worth of healthy meals on my budget. On the other hand, it is very easy to do a week's worth of pre-packaged, processed, frozen or all you can eat buffet meals.

Now, I have never believed it when I have seen people on tv bemoaning the fact that they can't feed their families healthy food. I have judged right along with the rest of you. I have always thought, "Give me a break! How hard can it be?" Now, I understand and I empathize with the people. We have spent a month eating poorly, because, to be honest, it was too much work to shop and feed us well. We are on vacation after all! For the first couple of weeks I did my best, but the boys were always hungry and it is soooooo hard to spend $6 on subpar apples! I had assumed that coming to Florida, we would be eating tons of oranges, avocados, and other local fruits and veggies. WRONG!!! Oranges (from Florida) are more expensive here than they are at home! The Florida avocados that I buy at home for $1.49 each are $1.89 here - does that even make sense??

One of the things that I have learned as I went through the process of changing our diets at home, was that when you eat the processed, packaged, bad food, you get addicted to it. There is a huge detrimental cycle to eating poorly. It must be incredibly depressing to be poor in the USA. The amount of money that is poured into the production of packaged food is incredible, it is pushed at lower income families as their only option, it promotes obesity and disease, people end up sick, they have no health insurance and it goes on and on and on... and it really alters how you think about things.

When Brendan dislocated his toe the other day and our travel insurance wouldn't cover it, I called the hospital to find out what the costs involved would be. I shocked myself when I said to my kid, "Sorry, but your toe isn't worth it." Who says stuff like that??? People without health insurance, that's who. If we had been at home, I would have taken him straight to the ER without giving it a thought. When it happened here, I took care of it myself (now in fairness, I have done my share of first aid training and had years of experience) because we couldn't afford to pay almost $3000 to have his toe x-rayed and put back in place.

We are all sold on the great American Dream. It's a load of crap. There is very little hope in the lives of most of the Americans I have met. These are working class people struggling to keep their families going. It has been so shocking to see all the cracks in the image that America tries to portray to the rest of the world.

I will be so happy to touch my feet back on Canadian ground next Saturday.

A little perspective.

One of the things that I have always tried to do with the boys when we travel is to have them be "in the culture" of wherever we are. We do not stay holed up in a resort and we try to meet as many local people as we can. When we stayed at Atlantis at the beginning of this trip, that was the first time we had ever "vacationed" like that, but I knew that we would be ending our trip more in the manner that we are accustomed to.

When we first got to the townhouse in Kissimmee, Florida, I was disappointed. It didn't measure up to our "vacation expectations". We got spoiled in the Bahamas and on our cruise and the townhouse was a bump back in to reality. I am surprised that there has been so much to learn by living in a little townhouse in the middle of Florida. We are in the American vacation mecca. One of the largest tourist destinations in the world. Depending on who you ask, "The Happiest Place on Earth". Amidst all the happiness though, is a city that is suffering greatly in the throes of the american recession. As soon as we got here I could feel something was "off", but it took me about a week to figure out what it was. Everything is just a little bit broken and run down. WalMart is full of BMW's and well dressed families buying no name pasta, cheezits and wine - all the while trying to keep their kids from touching anything that the "poor" people have been touching. It is odd. There are townhouse complexes all around that are typically full of vacationers, but are now full of people who have lost their homes. Then there are large, gated suburbs with big, beautiful houses and they are full of For Sale signs and garbage. All through the streets and shopping centers, there are boarded up businesses, broken signs, clearance signs and overgrown landscaping. It is like that all around us for miles and miles - unless you drive down the 192 or the 536 - both those roads go straight in to Disneyworld. Once you cross the last junction on the way to Disney, you are transported to another world. The grass is perfect, the streets are spotless, the cars and buses are clean and shiny. There is not a piece of trash out of place or a chip of paint missing. It took the boys until day three of Disney to notice this. Since then we have been talking and learning a lot about recession. What is it? What does it mean? Why does that make people lose their houses? Does it end? What happens to all the people? Why didn't it affect Disneyworld? Big questions with mostly crappy answers.

It is weird to be vacationing in a land of prosperity, but living in an area of despair. It is hypocritical. It is uncomfortable. It has also been an eye opening experience for us and a humbling one.

"How can we help the people?", one kid asks me. Hmmmmm, that's a tough one. We know that there is a family in our complex that is struggling so we will pack up all our unused and leftover food and things at the townhouse and leave it at their front door when we leave and we will donate the clothes and books we brought with us to a little thrift store that we found that has pretty bare shelves and racks. Those are just the little things though and I know the question that he asked was meant to be answered with a bigger answer. That is going to take a few more days I think.

A day at EPCOT.

I learned some things today and for what it's worth, I will share them with you.

1. Disney farms its own fish and grows its own crops in order to sustain the food in their parks and on their resort properties (including the cruise ships).

2. They work with the US Agriculture Dept. to develop sustainable and ecologically friendly farming practices - including aquaculture and a lot of hydroponics.

3. They grow up to 35,000 tomatoes in a year!

4. If your child has a meltdown, you get a magic pass that gets you to the front of the line on any attraction. And just to be safe, they give it to you for the entire time you are visiting Disney.

5. When you don't have to wait in any line-ups, you can get through a park in half a day.

6. The EPCOT Food and Wine Festival is worth returning for. There are food and drink booths set up all through the park, from all of the countries represented in the park. I think Brendan and I might come back for it next year.

7. The strangest things make me lose it. (I don't care if that water fountain doesn't feel as good as the other one, DRINK OUT OF IT!)

8. People will pay A LOT of money to make their kid stop whining. (this was not me, by the way)

9. Michael Jackson was an awesome dancer. (was reminded of this while watching Captain EO)

10. There is ALWAYS something to be happy about.