Embrace your failures people.

Today was a day that I was forced to embrace my failures. And I have failed big time in so many areas I could write a book about it. For example... I made the mistake of getting on a scale today. FAIL! EPIC FAIL (as my son would say)!! We're not talking a couple of little pounds fail, but I have new jiggly, sticking out parts kind of fail. What happened to me? (Besides my mother, my children, my broken car, my extreme lack of money and my very rebellious dog.) I was doing soooooo well. I was winning! I am now, definitely losing. (the race, not the pounds) While I was lying on my bed poking my new parts, I realized I needed to look at this as a learning situation and not as a failing situation. I now absolutely know when I eat badly and all the feelings that go with that. I can clearly never again be frustrated, too busy, too bored, angry, upset, too happy, too sad or overwhelmed. If I can manage that, the weight will fall right off. Of course, I could get off my new jiggly, sticking out parts and get back in to the gym, too. Seriously though, I have learned that the first thing I let go of when times get tough is anything to do with myself. I know that is a common problem for women. Apparently we are selfless givers and we like to take care of everyone else first. I think we are just plain dumb. It is not rocket science to figure out that I won't be able to take care of anyone when I'm dead from fat congealing in my body and preventing the flow of blood and oxygen.

The second fail of the day was when I went to get a drink and there were NO clean glasses left. What is wrong with me that I can't keep my house kept up? Why?? I think it is too overwhelming for me (which we now know causes me to eat badly - do you see the vicious circle I live in?). I am living in CHAOS - that is Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome - according to Flylady. I understand flylady and she seems to understand me. I am starting a new relationship with her and I hope she will be my BFF. She says that my house didn't get this way overnight and it won't get sorted out overnight either, so I should relax and follow her plan. Today all I have to do is 'shine my sink'. She even tells me exactly how to do it. She says that if my sink is shiny, it is like it is smiling at me every time I look at it. (really?) Anyways, I am ready to listen to someone else, because it is clear that I can't be in charge of myself.

For those of you that read along regularly, you know that for the past 31 days I was answering all those questions... well for the next 31 days you get to follow along with me while I am a "flybaby" learning to declutter, tidy, clean AND get some more pounds off. Are you excited? No, I mean REALLY excited! The kind of excited that will encourage me through the dark times. The kind of excited that will pull me up when I falter. The kind of excited that will cheer me on and walk up the hills with me. Are you THAT kind of excited? I'm not either. Maybe we'll get there together....