Question #2.

Ok, I’ve been reading through the 31 questions a bit more thoroughly tonight and some of them are hard! I contemplated answering them out of order, so I could pick and choose based on my mood, but I decided, in the end, to tough it out and deal with them as they come. So here we go… question #2 is…

What’s the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?

This is one of those tough ones I mentioned. I hadn’t really thought that far in to my year yet. What if I pick something today and I change my mind later? What if I underestimate God and pick something too easy? I have things running through my head, but if I pick any one of them, it will require things from me and I’m not sure I’m ready to go there. You see, this morning in church we were issued a challenge. And, today was a day that I was all prepared to just sit back and take it all in – I really didn’t want to have to do anything, but then, out of nowhere, we get told we’re going to have to “take action”. (We should be warned about stuff like that the week before so we can come prepared – I don’t like those kinds of surprises.) Anyways, the text we were studying was from Matthew 5 – talking about loving your enemies. I looked it up in The Message when I got home and this is what it said,

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best – the sun to warm and the rain to nourish – to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, GROW UP. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”
Matthew 5:43-48 The Message, Eugene Peterson

The ‘take action’ part of church was to think of one person that we had trouble loving and to pray for them and our ability to love them better. Of course, because I was unprepared for this challenge, who pops in to my head? None other than my favourite ex-husband. (If I had been prepared, I would have carefully chosen someone easier.) Now what am I supposed to do? I can’t ignore the fact that God put that name in my head, because if I replace him with an easier choice, I’ll feel guilty every time I pray for the easier person. Ahhhhhhhhhh! You have to understand how much I hate him. I can’t look at him or talk to him without risking a stroke from my blood pressure shooting up. I could fill pages with wrong doings towards me and the boys, but I’ll spare you (and my blood pressure) and just leave it to your imaginations. For me, he is the ultimate unlovable. But to God, he is His precious child.

So, back to the question… what is the most humanly impossible thing I am going to ask God to do this year? I am going to ask God to restore my children’s father. To restore his faith and his relationships – I don’t think there is ANYTHING more humanly impossible than that.