To start off, I would like to say that I blogged diligently through the first week of Advent and my posts disappeared in to the blogging stratosphere. I have absolutely NO idea what happened to any of them. Maybe they weren't any good and God was sparing you from having to read them...
I had a very cool experience yesterday and I wanted to share it with you, but first you need some updating on the background. Last week was a bad one for me. I succumbed to pity and disillusionment and I let it overtake my attitude, mood, words, actions, thoughts, etc. I assume you're getting the picture - I was whiny and miserable. The whole financial situation seemed to be impossible and everything I was doing to fix it was turning in to a disaster. By Thursday, my facebook status said, "The next person that says NO to me is going to have my arm down their throat to rip their heart out." (Just to clarify, I deleted it before I posted it. I am trying to practice using my "filter" on facebook and with people in general.) Anyways, the point is, I took my eyes off of Jesus and went back to trying to sort things out all by myself.
[As a little aside here - you would think that by now I would've figured out that extraordinary problems require extraordinary solutions. I am very definitely ordinary and God is very definitely extraordinary, so WHY do I even try?] Back to the story...
Sunday morning I woke up and I had had enough of the sucky attitude so I decided to pray it away. I asked for forgiveness for my bad thoughts, doubts, unkind words I had said - you know what, lets be honest, I went for blanket forgiveness. (I really let things slide in that week.) I also promised God that I would do absolutely any job that He sent my way. He knows what I can do and what my kids need of me right now, so whatever He would provide, I will accept and complete with a cheerful heart. I also put ALL of the financial stuff at his feet. He knows exactly what bills need to be paid and how much they are, so I am leaving it with Him to provide for.
Before I went to bed I had kind of decided that if I didn't wake up in time, I wasn't going to go to church. I sooooo did not want to play nicey nice with people and I also didn't want to tell people the truth either. I just wanted to avoid the whole thing. Of course, God being who He is and all, I woke up with hours to spare and do you think I could go back to sleep?? Instead, I prayed and read and then got up to get ready for church. By the time I walked out the door, I was back to my normal content, happy and peaceful self. (Thank you GOD!)
Have you ever been to church and every song that is sung and word that is spoken seems to be personally just for you? That was my experience yesterday. It was very cool. Did you even know that in "O Holy Night" there is a line that sings "In all our trials born to be our friends, he knows our need, our weakness is no stranger, Behold your King, before him lowly bend..." Who knew??!!
Ok, I know I'm rambling, so back to the point...
I have friends that help me out with things when we need them and yesterday we needed groceries, so a gift card to Safeway was handed to me along with the words, "I have no idea what's left on this one..." and then we were both distracted by other people and we went our separate ways. And it was one of the cards that you load the dollar amount on to, so I really had know idea what to expect. I, however, was down to my last $14.68, but I knew it was enough for bread, milk and eggs. Later in the afternoon I headed to the grocery store, knowing I should really stock up on basics just in case the snow came the way it was predicted and we were snowed in (I realize that sounds a bit dramatic, but where we live we really do get snowed in). So with my list in hand, I decided to just go for it and get all the things on my list. Well, as I was working through my list, everything I needed was on sale! It became kind of funny actually, because one thing after another, right down to the brand I usually buy, there was a sale sign with every item (except milk). I filled my cart and didn't think twice about it (and that is a rarity lately!). I had picked up one thing that was not on my list and I didn't really need, (but I wanted) and when I got to the check out, I told the cashier that I had changed my mind and could she please leave it out. The moment of truth.... can you guess where this is going? That gift card (and $.68) paid for my groceries to the penny. I was left with my $14.00 in my pocket and the gift card was empty. I laughed and naturally, the cashier looked at me like I was nuts, and I told her that God had just bought my groceries (come to think of it, she probably thought I really was nuts). Unbelievable, right? Nope - God providing, just as He promises He will. Thank you God for sending friends in to my life, that love and obey you.
Oh, one more thing. Before I left church, a different friend put an envelope in my hand with a hug and a Merry Christmas wish. Today, bills are paid, the car is full of gas and I don't have to think about next week.
God only asks us to give Him our burdens and trust in Him to carry them. He loves us more than we can ever imagine.
I'm looking forward to see what's going to happen next... after all, God's got my back.
"This is what God says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves,The God who summons horses and chariots and armies— they lie down and then can't get up; they're snuffed out like so many candles:"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. Wild animals will say 'Thank you!' —the coyotes and the buzzards—Because I provided water in the desert, rivers through the sun-baked earth, Drinking water for the people I chose, the people I made especially for myself, a people custom-made to praise me." Isaiah 43:16-21 (The Message)
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